18,250 Days of Being a Woman- my childhood & first decade of adulthood

Reaching a milestone birthday is nothing if but a good reason to eat whatever one wants during any and every celebration, to spend time with loved ones, and to reflect on life so far. 

I was going to do one post and talk a little bit about each decade of my life but I figured I'd get way too wordy so I'm breaking it up into three posts: one post for each decade that I've been an adult- my twenties, thirties and forties.

I'm starting with my twenties but will start with a brief (hopefully!) overview of my childhood.

I was born the fourth of five kids (the five of us were born in six years- no twins except of the Irish variety ;)) in rural Indiana. I grew up in the middle o' nowhere and attended a tiny school. We were a poor family. My dad had a job but it was not high paying. One of my brothers had a debilitating disease (that would lead to his death in his forties) which required a lot of time and money resources, neither of which my parents had in abundance (see lots of kids and poverty) and resulted in no small amount of stress for my parents as the nearest children's hospital was hours away (see growing up in the middle of nowhere).

If this sounds like the making of a dismal childhood, well, yes and no. There were dismal parts (no one likes to be poor or witness a sibling suffering) for sure and the dismal would hit a new low when my dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness when I was twelve and died when I was thirteen.

And yet... prior to my dad's sickness and death, I would not have called my childhood a bad one at all. My parents were hard working, humble, tender hearted, loving, and patient. My view of my parents may be rose colored because they are both gone but I can say, with what I believe to be completely accuracy, that they were wonderful parents to have. They were committed Christians and their faith was the biggest part of their identity. I can't count the number of times that I came downstairs to see my mom sitting on her favorite chair reading the Bible. We were active in our "old style" church- attending Sunday school, then church, then prayer meetings Sunday evening and then Bible study on Thursday evenings. My parents didn't gamble, drink alcohol, use tobacco, speak profanity and they would give the shirts off their backs to help someone in need. In the scale of poverty, we were likely on the "high end" and my parents gave as generously as they could to those in worse need than we were. They tithed ten percent of our income and they supported a number of missionaries oversees. They were honest to a fault. I remember one time my mom realized that the clerk at the grocery store gave my mom too much money back in change. She loaded us five kids back into the station wagon (we were at home when she realized she'd been given more change back than she should have) and we drove the ten miles back to town to where the grocery store was so that my mom could give the clerk back the excess change that she'd received.

I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was twelve years old. Being forgiven of my sins, knowing that the Creator of the universe loves me and is preparing a place in heaven for me, brings me comfort. I fall short of the glory of God every day but I know that God knows my heart and forgives me when I fall short.

My twenties- One overarching word to condense the decade of my twenties would be "eventful." In this decade, the biggest changes in my life occurred than would occur in any other. I'll go over some of the exciting or noteworthy things that happened in this decade. I'll mention these events as they happened chronologically.

    I graduated college, Indiana University, in this decade. During college, I spent one summer in Europe. I spent six weeks in Austria in a study abroad program through my college and then six weeks with my mom's cousin and his wife in southern Germany. I graduated college with two majors- political science and history and a minor in German. I was able to attend college thanks to Pell Grants (a federal program expressly to assist those with financial need to attend college) and scholarships. I graduated with just a few thousand dollars of debt and that debt was almost all from taking a loan out for the summer program in Austria.

    With majors such as the ones listed, is it any surprise that my schooling did not end with a bachelors degree? I took a year off after graduating college before I decided to attend law school at the University of Dayton. 

    Going to UD for law school was significant in a geographic sense. I moved to Ohio for it and never left the state (I mean in terms of living- I left the state for travel). Ever since moving to Ohio at attend law school, I've not lived closer than three hours from any of my blood relatives.

    In law school, I ran my first marathon which was the Air Force's inaugural marathon at nearby Wright Patterson Air Force Base. I would run go on to run two more marathons in my twenties and then some in my thirties and forties.

    Going to UD for law school was significant in the most life altering way imaginable- the cutest and smartest guy in law school asked me out, we started dating, and then got married a week after graduating from law school.

    We studied for and passed the Ohio bar examination. We were lawyers!! Sort of. I mean, technically, though as for me, I never practiced law. I got a job working for a software company that made legal software. Donnie was hired as an associate at the same law firm of which he is now part owner. ("Partner" is the colloquial term for having an ownership interest in a law firm but almost all law firms nowadays are set up as LLC's so the correct term to denote ownership is owner not partner).

    Based on how well we did on the Ohio bar exam (we received our scores after finding out that we'd passed), how close geographically we are in Ohio to Indiana, and because I have many relatives in Indiana, we decided to take the Indiana bar exam as well (not that we anticipated my family having legal problems...). We passed that so now there were two states that I could practice law in that I never would, lol. Donnie has used his Indiana bar license professionally quite a few times so it ended up being a good thing that we (or at least he) took the bar exam in Indiana.

    We started looking for a house to buy and ended up building a house in a suburb of Dayton. It was not a custom build or a Mcmansion. It was a nice starter home but nothing large or fancy.  Our combined law school loan payment each month was higher than our monthly mortgage bill on this home. (Where is a POTUS to sign an executive order to make taxpayers foot the bill for your student loans rather than you, the one who signed the promissory note, when you need one, lol? 🤷‍♀️)

    We started attending a church that we would attend for the next twenty years. It was a large church and we became involved with a small group and in volunteering. Members of our small group would become our dearest friends. Though we would end up leaving this church over a difference in political/ social ideology in 2020 in the zeitgeist of the pandemic and other issues, we remain grateful for the relationships that had their inception in this church.

    Two of the eponymous "Three Rineer Kids" were born when I was in my twenties. I've mentioned the kids a time or two or 23,000 on here so their existence is not something a reader here would be surprised to find out about ;). There may even be a picture or two or 23,000 of them on the blog. I'll see if I can find some new ones to post...

    Abby's birth took me to almost the end of my twenties. But one more significant event took place in my twenties.Shortly after Abby was born, I quit my job to stay at home with the kids. It was never our plan for me to be a stay at home mom (see massive law school loans) but we felt like being home with the kids was the best place for me to be. We were able to pay our bills and save a little bit each month but it required drastically reducing our spending. I look back at this time fondly mainly because the kids were so small and life was very simple due to not spending much money. (Though I'm glad that we are done with *needing* to pinch pennies, I will always be a girl looking for sales and for ways to save money. But of course it's nice to not have to.)  

Here are a few pictures from my young days. 

This was a church directory photo

I think my parents ponied up the money for this one. I vaguely remember going to a professional studio for this. 

The family barn in Indiana

We had the best playhouse! In one small section of our barn, there were three small rooms connected by a hallway. I have no idea what these rooms were originally intended. But we kids made a playhouse out of the rooms. Mom helped us furnish the rooms with cast offs and garage sale finds. My sister and I slept out in the playhouse a few times as we had a mattress for a bed in the biggest room. 

Just pretending to drive our old Moline tractor 

Why pay to ice skate in a fancy shamancy rink when a perfectly shallow creek on your property freezes from time to time? The barn is in the background.

This picture of a small part of our backyard, otherwise known as the baseball field, shows my cousin Andy and one of our outbuildings. We called it The Shop though we had another building on our property that we also called The Shop. I don't remember anyone getting them confused. We always knew which Shop to which we were referring! Anyway, just out of the frame of this picture, to the left of The Shop, sat an outhouse. (I have a picture of it somewhere but I could not find it.) Our house did have indoor plumbing (one bathroom for us all but still...), thankfully. We did not have to use the outhouse. 

Running cross country in high school- this was in the beginning of the meet because there are girls behind me, lol. Alyssa is so much faster than I ever was!!

My best friend Leah and I in high school

...and with friends Tanya and Dawn

In college at a football game with my friends Erika and Valerie

In Europe- the school program was in Graz, Austria which is in southern Austria. In 1991, nearby Slovenia became a country when it gained independence from Yugoslavia. I was able to visit this beautiful country for a weekend. When I entered the country, border agents told me that I was the first American to enter the country through that particular border stop. That seemed kind of hard to believe but I don't know why anyone would make that up? My trip was in 1994.

I also got to spend a day in Venice. So pretty and watery!

Within Austria, our school program took us to Salzurg and Vienna for day trips. We stayed and took classes in Graz, Austria.

In Germany, I stayed primarily with my mom's cousin Hansjoachim and his wife Ingrid. They lived in the most picturesque small town in Bavaria (sadly, I did not take great pictures of this charming village). I also spent time in Berlin and northern Germany where my mom's family is from.

Here is Checkpoint Charlie in Berlin.

Hansjoachim and I 

We visited Schloss Neuschwanstein in southern Germany. I may be the only person in the history of visiting it who only took a picture of its side? My picture taking skills would get honed (or at least improved upon) in a different decade!

Tante Eva- she's actually my great Tante Eva. She was my mom's aunt. She and two of her sisters visited us in America when I was about ten years old. I got to see her again when I went to visit her in northern Germany.

Shortly after graduating college, I took a road trip to Colorado with my friend Erica. I enjoyed being in the beautiful state quite a bit. I remember saying to Erica that I hoped to return to the state someday when I was not poor, lol. We tried, and accomplished being very frugal when we were in Colorado during the post college trip. I would get to return to Colorado and even visit some of the same spots like Garden of the Gods pictured below when we went to Colorado for a soccer tournament in 2018. 

Newly engaged and about to become a lawyer who never practiced law

Apparently I ran marathons without shirts? I found pictures of me in two different marathons without a shirt. My stars. My cousin Dan ran the Air Force Marathon with me two times. 

So young! 

Within a few months of being married, we took the Ohio bar exam and were sworn in after we passed it.

The young lawyer in his office!

Within a few months of being sworn in, we signed a contract to build a house. Here we are on our lot.

It was fun and easy to watch its progress. Our apartment was only a couple of miles away from our future home site. 

Jacob was born about a year and a half after we were married so we didn't have too much time to travel before he was born (plus, Donnie had billable hour expectations as an associate at his firm which precluded taking a lot of time off work). We did go to Indiana several times to see my sister perform. She was a professional singer for a while! She played a role as an Amish woman in one musical theater production.

My mom, Donnie and I at another musical theater production

We went to Canada for the 4th of July the year that I was pregnant with Jacob.

We spent a long weekend in Virginia Beach visiting family and seeing one of Donnie's cousins perform in a cello concert.

My favorite work friends and I got to go to California to a conference. We were able to do a little sight seeing, too, which we enjoyed. I was seven months pregnant so it was my last travel hurrah before Jacob was born. 

Awwww, how did we get the cutest and best baby, lol?

Abby gave Jacob a run for the money in both of those departments!! 

This takes me to the end of my twenties. I had just quit my job. This picture captures some of the chaos of this new chapter in our lives!!