One year post surgery

My one year surgery-versary was last week; in some ways it seems like it was way longer than that and in many ways it seems shorter (which is consistent, I find, with many look back of events- so in the time mirage regard, it's all very normal).

It was Easter Sunday last year (April 1st), that I had Achilles tendon surgery. At first, with the injury occurring on Thursday, I was in denial that I needed medical care (which is why I waited two days to seek medical treatment). I was only worried about an infection when I sought medical care and never would have believed that I would be in surgery the next day and that the recovery time would be so horrific. 

But reality is reality no matter what we want to believe or feel emotionally! The scientific fact is that recovery is a long time. I was in a cast for six weeks and could put no weight on my foot and then was in a boot for six more weeks. Because the injury was to my right ankle, I couldn't drive for the twelve weeks post recovery- when I was in a cast and when I was in a boot.

The immediate aftermath of the surgery meant that my world shifted enormously. I went from moving a lot- most days getting at least 15k steps in a day due to running most days as well as walking when the weather was nice- to virtual immobility. I went from having a lot of sub jobs lined up for the months of April and May to not working (I suppose I technically could have but movement was so cumbersome and I was so slow that canceling the sub jobs made the most sense). I went from assisting Alyssa in any way that I could; Alyssa was on the clock for still living at home and I was trying to make the most of our last few months together- to her being of utmost assistance to me when she wasn't at work or school.

I won't go into all of the particulars of that time in this post- heaven knows I had the time to write about all that very particular time in my life in real time, so to speak. I've alluded to some of the most recent post surgery things that I've noticed; I'll use this space as a repository of them here:

• At the risk of being super melodramatic, I'm not certain that I will ever heal properly. By that I mean, I often still walk with a limp. It's most notable when I've been sitting for a while and then get up to walk. My right ankle/foot is stiff and I can't walk normally. Maybe this will go away with time. But it seems like... a decent bit of time has passed already and it hasn't gone away.

• Also, this may fall in the super melodramatic camp, too, but I'm not sure my legs are ever going to look equal to each other. My right leg, below the knee, is noticeably less muscular. Of course I lost muscle in the three months that the area was in a cast or boot. But I've been out of the boot for way longer than I was in the cast/boot so it seems like that muscle should be about where it was before.

• Notwithstanding my limp and the asymmetry in my leg muscles, it may sound odd, but I have been running since I was cleared to run, which was three months (I think?) post being out of the boot. I run quite slowly but run I do, nonetheless. (Running is also a reason I think it's odd that my calf muscle hasn't been restored to its normal size? Like, it's getting used- why isn't that evident??)

• Something else kinda weird movement wise is something that I can't do with my right foot. If I stand on just my right foot and try to lift up on my foot such that I'm standing with the weight on my toes, I can't do it. My foot won't budge if I try to push up on it. I can do it easily when I stand on just my left foot. What's interesting is that if I stand normally with both feet on the ground and lift both of my feet off the ground, my right foot will go up. So I can do the motion, I just can't do the motion when it's just that foot trying to do it.   

• Another odd thing physically is the back of my ankle- so my heel, is swollen. I won't post any pictures because it's really quite unpleasant looking. But basically, there's a lump where there shouldn't be a lump. The sight of it is less concerning to me (though it does look bad and I certainly don't like that) than the practical implications.  Wearing shoes that cover the heel (ie, most types of shoes!) make that area very prone to blisters, even when I wear socks because the lump means my ankle is even closer to the back of the shoe. I have to always have bandages on the back of my heel to offer even more padding than just socks. Blisters are soooo painful and I've experienced more of them in the past nine months than I ever want to! I'm grateful that the extreme cold of winter and hopefully even spring is past and I'll be able to wear open backed shoes like Birkenstocks, flip flops, mules, etc every day. Obviously running precludes wearing open heeled shoes so if I want to exercise, I can't completely eliminate wearing closed heeled shoes. 

Here are a few pictures from my time in a cast and a boot. Like I said, I won't go into too many details here as I wrote about this time in detail when it was happening. (If for some reason, you want to read posts regarding my injury and the healing in the aftermath, just look at old posts from around this time last year!)

My birthday last year- I was in a cast though you can't see it here. In the picture, you can see a small part of my knee scooter thing that helped me get around. I'm guessing last year was the only birthday since my first one that I couldn't walk (though I don't know- maybe I was walking by my first birthday?)

Also on my birthday- Alyssa and I went out for lunch. It was the only time in three weeks that I left the house. I really embraced my inner hermit, though, the reason is because I found walking in the crutches to be such a pain and I worried so much about tripping and/or accidentally putting weight down on that leg. I played it real safe, not wanting to jeopardize healing. Being at home seemed like the safest place to be. But I did enjoy the one outing on my birthday- the day was a beautiful one and we ordered take out and ate it at a park. 

My boot and my house shoe- walking, albeit awkwardly, in the boot was such an improvement from relying on the knee scooter or crutches to get around. I also always wore a "house shoe" in the house because if I walked barefoot, my walk would be even more awkward due to how high my foot was in the boot. Once in the boot, I had to wear it 24/7 which of course I did. Getting out and about was much easier which was great because Alyssa graduated from high school and we had her grad party all while I was in the boot. 

Speaking of Alyssa, yes, two big events occurred while I was in the boot. While these were very big events with lots of photos, ceremony, importance, etc. this picture below of a very mundane scene, makes my eyes water with tears if I think about it for long.

Alyssa hung out with me all the time that she could when I was in a convalescent state, especially the first three weeks when I was in a cast. We watched some "programs" together on the telly, played cards, and sometimes just did our own thing like read or be on our phones but she'd sit on the couch with me to keep me company. She was home every afternoon (she only went to high school until noon each day because she did online college for half of her credits)- unless she worked. She'd come home from school and get our lunches ready and then we'd both settle on the couch. This photo isn't frame worthy but what it represents is precious and is etched in my mind forever. 

 

Me n' my anesthesiologist- I'm not good friends with Marilyn but we have mutual good friends and often see each other at social events. You can't see it here but I was in my boot. The last time before this that my anesthesiologist and I were in the same room was on Easter in the surgery theater. It was just happenstance that she was on call the weekend of my surgery and that I wound up at the hospital where she works. (I did want the surgery at the large downtown Dayton hospital that I had it at; the larger suburban one I originally went to when told to go to an ER did not have an orthopedic surgeon on call Easter weekend.)

Lastly, friends and family showed up in big and small ways, post surgery.  My surgery reminded me of the importance of trying to be a blessing to others who are going through trials. Looking at my camera roll reminded me of the thoughtful ways that friends and family showed they cared. I won’t rehash it all here (I’m sure I did in blog posts last year). I did want to highlight being the recipient of one of blogland’s most talented paper crafter’s homemade card, sweet note, and generous gift card. 

Thank you, again, Joanne!

Ok, really lastly, I am posting (small) photos of my legs. Small photos because, middle age legs, lol. The two photos do show that I am gaining muscle in my muscles that atrophied. (I didn't realize the improvement until I looked at both of these pictures.) The picture on the left is from late June of last year and the one on the right is from this week.

Linking up with Joanne for Talking about it Tuesday!