In Memoriam

We found out earlier this week that my father in law, Donald Rineer (my husband is also Donald Rineer- he's not a junior; the two men have different middle names) passed away unexpectedly.

Likely everyone reading this has experienced an unexpected loss so I don't need to describe the exact emotions/disbelief when we heard the news. Once the initial shock wore off, the biggest emotion, was, and is, of course, grief over the loss.

I could go on and on about my father in law and may do so at a later date. At this point, I think one of the best ways to honor him is to talk about his legacy as a father and how I see his (Don's) influence in my Don's (husband) character. My father in law perfectly summed up one side of the adage: some people walk into a room and ask what they can get out of it. Some people walk into a room and ask how they can help. My father in law exemplified the latter quality and my husband does as well. I'm certain that by observing his father's actions over the years both when he was a child and as an adult, Donnie internalized what it means to be a giver and not a taker. Selflessness in both men is one of their biggest personality traits and indicator of their good character. 

Don always thought of others before himself. When he retired, he did some of the usual/quintessential retirement activities: he golfed with his brother and friends, he went on cruises to neat locations and did other traveling as well, he met with former coworkers regulatory for lunch, he went out his town's rec center to work out. But he did much more than that. He spent the vast majority of free time volunteering. He volunteered for hours each week at the church he attended. He volunteered on Sundays but also throughout the week. He got meeting rooms set up for different groups that were meeting. For years, he cleaned the church (not a small task as it is a big church). He also volunteered a great deal at a place in Dayton that helps those in dire financial need called Good Neighbor House. 

Don showed up (literally) for the kids. He went to every game or competition that he was in town for. He was proud of his grandkids and loved them deeply. He was a great father to Donnie and his sister. He was a loving brother to his sister when she was alive and to his remaining sibling, Doug. 

He loved the Lord and enjoyed the fellowship of men from church and his Bible study group that he was part of with his wife (she passed away eleven months ago). He loved gospel music and particularly the Gaithers. He traveled to see them perform in various venues across the country. 

He was just one of the good guys. You know the ones who work hard, love their country, love their family in word and in deed and who do the right things consistently. These types of people are the ones who raise kids who (usually...) have those same values and ethos.  

There's simply no replacing the void that is left with a loss this big. We are comforted with the belief, our belief as Christians, that Don is now in heaven where he will be for all eternity. We believe that we will see him again as well as many of our loved ones whose souls have departed their earthly bodies.  

I am including a link to his obituary here.

I've been offline almost the entirety of the week. I feel badly that I haven't read/commented on blogs but blogging has not been something that I could not in any way prioritize. Writing posts likewise is something that has not happened. I am hoping to write a post or two next week but whether that happens remains to be seen. I do plan to take the time to at least read and comment on others' blogs, though that may be spotty as well. 

We are saddened with grief and also busy with the tasks that are before us to prepare for Don's funeral and to attend to the tasks that loved ones must do when a person dies. There are things to give away, things to keep, documents to find, people and business to inform and countless other decisions/tasks. Donnie's business keeps Donnie in states ranging from busy to insanely busy and thankfully, he's just in a busy state at work, not an insanely busy time and he's been able to make some inroads with regard to tasks pertaining to the estate. He's very grateful for this! And speaking of grateful, we've both been grateful for the outpouring of love and kindness we've received. Our people are showing up in big and small ways and it surely is a comfort in the dark days of grief. 

Here's his high school graduation picture. I just realized that I left a lot of his photos including childhood ones at his place- I wish I had them here to display. He was just the cutest little boy. Remember when I mentioned that he was in a Huffy bicycle advertising photo as a boy? I forgot to add that the photo was in an advertisement in Life magazine. I'll have to take a picture of him in Life magazine as well as other pictures. I kind of want to post pictures I have of him at family events but, well, offline is calling me. I hope to write more and post more pictures in a later post.